Liberation
The Beatific Vision
One of the Beatitudes states, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." Purity of heart, then, is the condition for such a vision. If to be pure in heart means to be in right and proper relationship with oneself, with others, and with God, then it also means living by the greatest commandments: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind; and love your neighbor as yourself."
My Personal Quest for God
I placed my fresh bag of marijuana on the table, sat down on the sofa, and loaded my pipe. Just two more unemployment checks, and it would all be over. This time, I wouldn’t take pills—I’d buy a .38-caliber pistol and end my life for good.
I lit the pipe, inhaled deeply, and let the high take over. My mind wandered to the question that had haunted me: Why am I doing this? It wasn’t self-hatred, nor was it despair over the things I had lost in my search for God. No, I wanted to die because I needed to know if life was truly eternal. If there was something beyond this existence. Even if I was destined for hell, at least I would have my answer.
There was only one thing that made me doubt—one mystical experience, brief yet profound, that had once revealed to me something sacred, something eternal. It was that memory that gave me pause. Had I truly touched the divine?
I set down the pipe and walked into the bathroom, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I love you, I told myself.
In an instant, something shifted.
My reflection no longer felt like a mere image—it was me. I was outside my body, weightless, moving at unimaginable speed toward a distant, radiant light. As I traveled, I encountered beautiful, human-like figures—women who seemed to call to me. Were they trying to stop me? I wasn’t sure. But I refused to slow down. I continued toward the brilliant, all-encompassing light until it swallowed me whole.
The Encounter
Suddenly, I was back in my bathroom. Yet something was different.
A voice, not spoken but heard within me, told me that this was merely a simulation. It urged me to leave the bathroom and step into my living room, where I would meet the one who had been communicating with me.
Cautiously, I stepped through the door. I knew my apartment was locked. No one could have entered—yet there, seated on my sofa, was me.
A perfect double.
We spoke without words, our thoughts flowing between us as one. Then, for the first time, I uttered a single word aloud: "Me."
I reached out to touch my double—and in an instant, we merged. I became whole, yet somehow, the dialogue continued. Every question I had ever pondered, every mystery I had ever longed to understand, was answered before I could even finish forming the thought.
It was beyond comprehension—pure, absolute knowing.
Then came the choice.
I could leave. Step through the front door and never return to the pain and suffering of this world. Or I could go back through the bathroom door and resume my life on Earth.
I turned toward the front door, ready to walk away forever.
Then I heard her voice.
My daughter. Calling my name.
I had made a promise: if I survived my search for God, I would return to her.
I turned back, stepped through the bathroom door, and was pulled away from the light, past the figures I had seen before, back into my body.
I stumbled into my living room. The sofa was empty. The presence was gone.
And yet, everything had changed.
The Revelation
That was my Beatific Vision. My moment of coming face to face with the Divine.
12:34 PM, May 6, 1978.
One of India’s ancient seers once wrote:
"Unseen but seeing, unheard but hearing, unperceived but perceiving, unknown but knowing... This is thy real Self, the ruler within, the Immortal."
What I Learned
Over time, I came to understand the significance of my experience. The greatest illumination human reason can offer is the discovery of what we truly are—our nature, our purpose, and the path to happiness.
I realized the ultimate truth of life in three steps:
- Reduce everything in the universe to one fundamental essence—Energy, Power, Force.
- Give it a name—the Fifth Force, the Life Force.
- Become that Force.
This is enlightenment. Self-awareness. Liberation.
To be—simply and fully—is the highest state of consciousness. A clear and balanced mind. A carefree existence. A return to unconditional love for life itself.
Final Thoughts
My journey was one of despair, but it led to transcendence. I sought death and found life. I sought an ending and discovered eternity.
This was my awakening. My liberation.
